We're Not Perfect Mothers

A Blog Post from October 27, 2012 - From a blog I had but have since deleted 

I recently reorganized our pictures on the computer (I LOVE organizing) and I was looking at old pictures and videos of the kids from when they were born up until now. I was kind of emotional, how could I forget them in those first months of their lives, when they are so innocent and helpless and beautiful, so quickly. And how much time we spent just looking at them! And it wasn't even that long ago for Ginger. Now it seems like I am just looking at the tops of their heads all day long and telling them 'no!' or 'stop!'. And then feeling awful when Tipo gets this defeated look in his eyes and says "oh, sorry mom" and turns and walks away. Or Ginger scrunches up her face and cries and puts her arms out to me for a hug. Breaks my heart every time. So why do I keep doing it?
How quickly we forget!
We will all fail our children in one way or another, no mother is perfect! I hope that doesn't sound negative, it's not meant to be. I just mean that we can't beat ourselves up for not doing everything perfectly. I know I struggle with feeling like a failure a lot of times because I am not acting like the mother I always thought I would be.
A current LDS leader and Apostle Elder M Russell Ballard said:

"There s no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children. The choice is different and unique for each mother and each family....What matters is that a mother lovers her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else." {Daughters of God}

Being a mother is being in a relationship with your child.
Being a mother is not a set of tasks to accomplish and we aren't graded on how well we do compared to other mothers. (Erickson, 135)  

Erickson, Janet J. "Mothers as Nurturers." Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspective. (2012): 128-139. Print.

The Little Things

A blog post from November 13, 2012 - on another blog I had but have since deleted. 

"We must look carefully, therefore, not only at life’s large defining moments but also at the seemingly small moments. Even small acts and brief conversations count, if only incrementally, in the constant shaping of souls." Neal A Maxwell

Yesterday I took the kids outside to the playground. Sometimes it's hard for me to just be out there watching them with not enough energy to get up and play and I couldn't seem to stop yawning either! But on that day my kids noticed a bug on the playground wall. On closer inspection it looked like a very old (and large!) ladybug with no spots at all. It even had a limp, or at least that's what it looked like. The kids were so enthralled by this one tiny little bug  Whenever the kids would get too close the ladybug would stop and pull it's legs in, and after awhile get up and start moving again. After awhile Joseph decided to give the ladybug some obstacles he grabbed sticks and put them in the ladybug's way. Sometimes she would climb over them and sometimes she would go down around the side of the wall and back up on top. After sometime you could see a string of sticks evenly placed on the wall and all of a sudden it looked like Bug Olympics and Joseph was the coach.
For some reason that very insignificant event seemed very not insignificant. It was a moment of just seeing the world as my kids do and finding joy in simple things, something I haven't done in a long time. I'm really grateful for my kids, and their unique perspective on life. I'm grateful for small moments of sharing an experience with them.

“Grand drama and ecstatic moments do not make a life good. Life is an everyday affair, and the sum total of unremarkable, daily happenings define its quality. In the prosaic novel, heroes and heroines who live for extreme moments misunderstand what life is... Many can perform heroic actions in the sight of all, but few posses the courage to do small things right without recognition” ~ Gary Saul Morson 

Photo Dump!

Now for the Photo Dump from the last couple of months!

Cute

Cute again

Beautiful fall mountain

First solids!

She is a little mischief maker!

Louise LOVED Aunite Em's trampoline. 

Precious

Jumping in the Leaves

Gigi's visit!

Looking for Bugs (She is our bug lover)

plein air (outside painting)  painting with the family!

I just really like this outfit - the shirt's tag says "Jillian's Closet" :)

This is part of why I wanted Rylee's hair long - I love this high messy bun - I can't really pull it but Rylee can! :)

Lui wishes she could join the kids at bathtime. 

Just a Wonderful Sunday Afternoon

The Accident: Her Story

Now it's Rylee's turn in the ER!
This morning I had just gotten the kids ready and was just finishing up on myself. Rylee was standing on the toilet and tripped and smacked the back of her head on the side of the tub. She started crying and I picked her up to hold her and said "oh! You're okay. I'm so sorry that happened." not thinking more of it but then it felt like there was something wet on my arm and I looked down and say blood. That freaked me out! So I turned her around and I had to move her hair and saw some blood. I thought, "Oh, you've got to be joking!" I called Cody and told him what had happened and he asked if she was cut and I said she wasn't really letting me look. So I had to hold her down and kind of dig through her hair and sure enough there was a deep 1inch cut! So I picked up Cody (because with Joseph I didn't have a choice and I had to go alone, but with Rylee, he could be there so I wanted him to be there) and we went to the ER. Just like with Joseph her cut had stopped bleeding and she was her normal self. That was really nice as a mother to not have your child screaming or crying I think that would have made me a nervous wreck. Anyways, I was concerned they would have to shave her head to do stitches. I totally forgot about staples! Which is what the doctor said they were going to do. That freaked me out a bit because all I think about is a utility staple gun and that does not sound nice. When we got there they put this cold gel on a cotton ball and put it on her cut and wrapped her head in a pink band (they called it her princess tiara) This cold gel sat there and helped to numb the area so that when they worked on her it wouldn't hurt so much.
They said they could either wrap her up in a blanket to keep her hands down and just do three quick staples - she would cry for like 20 sec and then be fine, but she probably wouldn't like doctor's for awhile. Or they could sedate her and then do the staples but that we would be there a lot longer. Now, I'm not exactly against sedation in little children. But I still don't like the idea of it. I didn't like the idea of wrapping her up wither (Which, honestly is better then strapping her down) Cody and I talked and just decided to wrap her up and do it quick. She was so calm and obedient (like Joseph when he got his stitches) She didn't cry or complain when they were cleaning it. Then they did three quick staples (Which wasn't as bad as a utility staple gun) and she did cry - for like 20 seconds like the doctor said and then she was completely fine! We decided to take them out to get ice cream, but Rylee fell asleep on the way to the store and slept through us eating. So we just bought her a doughnut to eat when she woke up.
She is doing just fine and is her old self. She can still take baths ect. I just need to be careful when I brush her hair and in 3-5 days I'll go back in and have then remove them.

Pictures of Rylee

I had saved up all these adorable pictures of Rylee But never got around to posting them. I love my little Rylee!